Maria Welch, Author at Fairdene Lodge

When is the right time to choose a care home?

By Maria Welch 17th September, 2021 Care, Care Home, Dementia, Family Related Matters Comments Off

It feels like there is never a right time to choose a care home, it’s a daunting and scary thought for most people, and generally it is left until the family cannot cope with the care requirements of a loved one anymore and then there is a panic to try and find somewhere with a space.

Our advice would be to prepare well in advance of a loved one needing a care home. At this stage they can even be involved in the decision-making process and you will have a greater choice of homes available to you. As you will have time to be on waiting lists, plus you will be able to get to know the home much better. The more open you can be with your family and able to discuss plans, the easier it will be when the time comes to transitioning into a home.

If the home is for you, let them know what you want, where you might like to be and the types of activities you might be interested in doing. Get to know the homes you are interested in and ask to be kept on their mailing list.

We always welcome as many visits as possible for the new potential resident and their family to get to know us and the home. We like potential residents to feel familiar with the home and comfortable in the space. They are welcome to join in activities with us and stay for periods of time to really understand what it is like to be one of our residents.

When choosing a home, try to take your time, ask lots of questions about the day to day running of the home, how they care for residents and the activity programmes they run.

At Fairdene our focus is on person-centred care, this means that we get to know each of our residents on a personal level, not just the medical care they require, we like to know what hobbies they enjoy, the job they used to do, the family they have and what makes them happy. We use this to put together meaningful activities for each resident. For example, we have one resident who used to be a boxing promoter, so we take him down to the boxing gym to see everyone and watch some of the action. This is an activity he really enjoys but is personal to him – not everyone is going to want to head down to the boxing gym!

If your loved one has already had a diagnosis of a condition that is likely to affect them into their later years such as dementia, you might like to look at care homes that specialise in that condition.

As a dementia care home, we continually research the latest on dementia care and continually look to improve our home and dementia care. We have our own in-house chef to offer the most nutritious food and ensure there is healthy food for residents to help themselves to around the home. We offer jelly drops to ensure everyone stays hydrated. Each resident is encouraged to bring a memory book with them which has photos of friends and family and things they like to do. We love sharing these with the residents and hearing their stories of days gone by.

With a diagnosis of Dementia, it might be years before the person affected actually needs a care home, however the time will come when they are no longer able to look after themselves even with the help of carers, friends and families. It would be at this point that you would need to consider moving to a care home. In our opinion though, it should be before this point that you discuss the care home and look at the different ones available in order to know which care home is best suited to your loved one.

You might be able to register your interest and the home could keep you updated on availability as the time approaches. It may feel like a sad and scary step, however from a positive perspective, your loved one will be getting the care they need which means that you will be able to focus on your social relationship with them and it can really help to reduce the stress and tension that sometimes comes with being someone’s full-time carer.

Fun and rewarding activities for those with dementia

By Maria Welch 7th June, 2021 Care, Care Home, Dementia, Family Related Matters Comments Off

Caring for a loved one with dementia can be frustrating, it can be lonely and at times it can feel monotonous. This in itself can start to have a detrimental impact on your relationship, and it is so important to try and not let dementia come between you.

We’ve put together a list of activities you might want to think about to break away from the frustration and monotony and think a bit differently about how you can keep your friendship going.

Finding engaging activities can help to reduce symptoms associated with dementia such as agitation, anxiety, depression and anger.

Fold towels

Now, this might not seem like an exciting or an engaging activity, however the need to feel useful continues throughout our lives and by giving those suffering with dementia an activity where they feel useful and purpose is a great way to boost self-esteem. It doesn’t matter how well the towels are folded, your loved one will feel they are contributing to the household and you are getting some of the housework done! At Fairdene Lodge, we regularly ask our residents to help us pair socks, and they love getting involved and feeling helpful.

Create a memory box

We actively encourage our residents and their families to create memory boxes and books. They are great conversation starters and can help residents feel connected to their past career and hobbies.

With a memory or rummage box you can fill it with things they might have used at work or objects from hobbies. For example for a boxer, they might have a boxing glove or a gym towel. Someone who enjoyed baking might have measuring spoons, a whisk or a wooden spoon.

You can use this for any type of job or hobby, you might just need to be creative about finding objects that are safe to handle.

Make (or buy) a personalised puzzle

If you want to get creative you could print a favourite family photo, that has a special meaning for your loved one. Laminate the photo and cut it into four (or more) puzzle shaped pieces to make you own personalised DIY puzzle. Alternatively, there are lots of sites online where you can buy a photo puzzle.

Music

Play your loved one’s favourite songs or albums from their youth. Encourage singing and dancing. It’s amazing how a song can take us back to a certain time or memory. We have Alexas in all our residents’ rooms loaded with their favourite music and stories.

Reading

You could read to your loved one, or perhaps they might enjoy an audiobook. Find things that are easy to follow and capture their interest. Reading aloud is a great way for those with dementia to interact with children.

Nature

Get out for a walk or use a wheelchair to get outside and breathe the fresh air, listen to the birds and take in the scenery. We love getting our residents out and about. We offer walks along the seafront, or rides with the Pedal People. We visit garden centres and shops, parks and cafes. We are so pleased the restrictions are lifting and we can get out and about again.

Animal Therapy

Holding or petting an animal is so relaxing and we’ve seen the benefits in our home when we’ve had various furry friends to visit.

Routine is great for those with dementia, however if it is having a negative impact on your relationship, you need to change it up a little. Hopefully this article has given you a few ideas on how you might do that.

Rebuilding out of COVID-19

By Maria Welch 5th May, 2021 Care Home, covid-19 Comments Off

As lockdown begins to ease, this might be the first time you are able to see your relative with dementia this year. With such a long time apart changes in their condition may be more apparent and trying to ensure COVID-19 guidance is followed may be particularly hard when your focus will be making sure the person with dementia is as safe and comfortable as possible. However it is important that we continue to stick to the rules to try and ensure we don’t have to deviate from the current roadmap.

The biggest news must be the ability to now visit loved ones in their care homes. This can be two visitors (one at a time) on a regular basis (ie the same two people must visit each time). This brings with it another set of challenges… what if your mum is in a care home and you are one of three siblings, how do you choose? How do you explain to your mum, when communication is more difficult, that one of her children isn’t allowed to visit. Although not perfect, it is progress and we will continue to arrange video calling for all those who are unable to visit for whatever reason.

With the widespread launch of free lateral flow testing, we hope that COVID-19 is coming under control and we will continue to test our staff regularly. We will also ask anyone entering the home to test and await their result before they are allowed to enter. Please bear this in mind if you are coming to visit, that you will need to arrive 30minutes prior to your slot to allow time to take the test and await the results.

For the foreseeable future we will continue to live with restrictions to protect the NHS and continue to save lives, so how can you start to introduce the “new normal” and begin to socialise once again with your loved one with dementia?

Embrace the time you do get to spend together, bring photo albums and reminisce about happy memories. Photo albums can be a great source of stimulation and will help not only reminisce but keep your loved one in touch with what has been going on in the family during the various lockdowns.
Use music to help stimulate conversation – play a favourite song or a song that takes you both back to a special event or place. Whenever I hear the lambada it always brings back a memory of my nana and grandad dancing on a warm sunny evening. It’s amazing how a song can take you right back to a moment in time.
Get outside together, whether this is a walk along the beach, in a park, or perhaps there is an activity you enjoy together like painting in the garden, or a spot of tennis. Activities give your loved one a sense of purpose and belonging.
Lockdowns have given even greater focus to technology and not everyone finds technology easy to use. It might be better to have a telephone call, rather than increase stress with new technology if your loved one hasn’t got the help they need. It is a good idea to call at regular times of the day to build a routine.
You could also send things through the post to help with the continued feelings of isolation – the world is opening up, but it is slow and the feelings of loneliness continue. This could be a letter or a card, or perhaps you could put together a photo book with descriptions and messages from other family members.

With all the new rules and regulations and COVID-19 guidance, remember this may be confusing and worrying for someone living with dementia. Continue to be understanding and patient and help them through the transition period to when we can hopefully all be together again.

COVID-19 and Dementia

By Maria Welch 29th March, 2021 Care Home, covid-19 Comments Off

There has been lots of talk in the press about the “forgotten victims of Covid” referring to school children and their education. Without doubt, they need more support and the make-shift homeschooling was no replacement for in school learning.

Working in the care industry we feel those suffering with dementia have truly suffered during the pandemic. If you read the research on dementia and reducing the affects, you will see the majority of advice and research shows the benefits of a routine and socialisation, both of which have been taken away to protect the vulnerable from catching COVID.

It’s a double-edged sword – on the one hand we need to protect people from catching COVID and potentially dying, however for those with dementia the loss of routine and socialisation may increase their dementia symptoms. In fact, the findings of a survey conducted by the Alzheimer’s Society of people with dementia and their carers, stated 82% of people reported an increase in symptoms among people with dementia after the March 2020 lockdown.

This was attributed mainly to a lack of cognitive stimulation and loss of routine. In the lockdown environment, we are no longer able to take part in stimulating or meaningful activities such as attending support groups or walking groups and are therefore limited to more mundane tasks. This has negatively affected people with dementia in terms of their illness and their self-worth.

For us with the care home, we are lucky we can continue to socialise amongst the residents and we have a full entertainment programme to encourage interaction and general merriment. We can maintain the residents’ routine as much as possible, obviously anything that was part of their routine outside of the home has been reduced or stopped however we are currently still getting out in the fresh air.

For those at home with dementia, the past 12 months must have been so difficult, unable to see friends and family. Not able to go out and do normal activities like shopping, meeting a friend for coffee and cake, or sports. It really has taken its toll, Over a quarter (27.5%) of people who died with COVID-19 from March to June had dementia.

But now we look to the future and how we will transition out of a lockdown situation. For the majority of us, we are excited to return to some sort of normality, but for those with dementia the outside world may not be the familiar surroundings they remember. For example, different shop layouts and processes may be disorientating. Signs and floor markings could be confusing and people in masks might be unsettling and/or difficult to understand. With numerous new rules to follow to keep everyone safe, this is something else to worry about, and also how others might react if they were to get it wrong.

In order to have an easier transition out of our current lockdown status, it is essential that those with dementia are supported by carers, services and the wider society. It has been reported that after the last lockdown those with dementia felt forgotten and abandoned and generally felt there was a lack of support when exiting the first lockdown.

So when we are out and about and continuing to follow the social distancing guidelines, remember that there are people in our community who might not be able to wear a mask or understand why they need to wear one. In a shop, there might be people who find it hard to follow the signage or understand they need to keep their distance. We need to remember to treat these people with patience, kindness and compassion.

We hope that all the dementia friendly practices that had been adopted by many shops before the pandemic such as clear signage, and staff who are trained to support customers with dementia can continue. We need to include and consult with people with dementia to develop communication and processes that promote their wellbeing and social inclusion and help them to live in world that might not be as familiar to them as it was before.

COVID-19 – Our Journey so far

By Maria Welch 1st December, 2020 Care Home, covid-19 Comments Off

As COVID-19 becomes a part of our everyday lives we have had to adapt to try and keep ourselves and our residents as safe as possible. Although there is talk of a vaccine we don’t know when it might be readily available, and if we have learnt anything over the last few months, it is that supplies to counter COVID cannot come quick enough. It really has been an extremely difficult time for us as a care home, trying to find the best possible way to tackle the pandemic. Obviously we followed all the guidelines set out by the various different bodies, but we felt this wasn’t enough for us, our residents are part of our family and we care deeply for each of them, so we researched and implemented numerous procedures and policies to protect our residents and our staff as far as we could.

Reduce Risk

Firstly, we wanted to ensure that there was little chance of the virus reaching our homes. We shut our doors 3 weeks before the original lockdown and all non-essential visitors were cancelled. This was a difficult step for us to take as we have always had an open-door policy and love having visitors into our homes. Then we put in place as much varied entertainment as we could for the residents to try and compensate for the fact we would no longer be getting out and about and some of our regular visitors like Pet Pals would no longer be coming to see us. Our care team have been amazing, they have turned their hand to so many different roles – beauticians, hairdressers, spa therapists, dancers, singers, bakers, the list is endless, and it really shows just how caring our team is.

They sacrificed seeing their own family to ensure our residents were protected. We wanted as little contact between our team and the outside world as possible, we provided their essential shopping, so they didn’t need to visit the shops. We also provided lodgings so they could isolate and only be in contact with other staff members and the residents.

Contingency Planning

We already had a number of contingency plans in place to include things like we would react to a flood, disasters, lack of services and (luckily) flu pandemics. We had also been working on a reinforced contingency plan in the months prior to the pandemic and this is why we were so able to fly into action the way that we did. We modified our flu pandemic contingency plan to a covid-19 pandemic plan and stuck to this until more information became available.

We then considered what would happen if COVID did get into our home. We created an isolation area for anyone displaying symptoms away from the other residents where they would be kept company by one member of the team. There was a programme in place for staff to provide 1:1 activities to prevent social isolation.

We also researched the best care we could give anyone who was suffering with COVID-19 and it seemed hydration was key so we briefed all staff on this and stocked up on jelly drops so we were ready should the worst happen.

Maintaining Contact

The pressure on the team was immense, with longer hours and more procedures and cleaning than usual, plus the added stress of not being able to see their own families during their time off. However, we knew it was important to try and allow our residents to see their friends and family, so we invested in more ipads and we arranged as much video calling as we possibly could. We accepted gifts on the doorstep on special days, leaving them for 72 hours to decontaminate and we got the residents writing postcards to their loved ones. We also increased our postings on our private social media group so our residents’ loved ones could see we were making the best of it and still having lots of fun in the home. We know it wasn’t the same as seeing someone face to face, but it was the best we could do in the circumstances and our number one priority has and always will be the safety and health of our residents.

Wellbeing

We followed the initial advice that we could find, this included vitamin D so we spent lots of time in the garden and the sun room, ate lots of leafy greens and ensured everyone had plenty to drink to keep hydrated. We also have a supply of jelly drops which the residents love. Lots of homemade cooking and activities were doubled, if you were in one of our care homes you probably wouldn’t even know a pandemic was going on (apart from the PPE) as everything was very ‘normal’ in the homes and everyone had a lovely summer.

When lockdown was lifted we joined up with peddle people again and they worked hard to put procedures into place that meant that they could take our residents out for rides into the community. This allowed families and friends to (socially distanced) join their families out in the community and experience normal activities. We were able to increase the amount of contact that families were able to have with their loved ones.

We also had family garden visits and installed a screen in the tea room for extra protection. We followed social distancing and all infection prevention measures to ensure the safety of the residents.

We invested in the Gateway. This was a machine we could put at the entrance to the home which would take a temperature before asking the visitor to proceed through. In the gateway the visitor is sprayed with an antiviral dry-mist providing full-body coverage to minimise the risk of a person carrying virus particles on their clothes.

The harmless dry-mist is used in healthcare, food safety, water treatment and general sanitation. It is made from hypochlorous, which is created naturally in the white blood cells of all humans and animals for healing, protection and to fight infections. It disables virus particles present on clothes or exposed skin on contact. We felt this would be an additional barrier and safety measure for our home that would make us feel more comfortable about inviting families to see their loved ones.

To help our staff manage and to ensure only one family were visiting at a time we developed an online booking system where families could book either video calling or a visit to the home, and just as we got it all up and running, we were put into lockdown again. This time we are more ready and prepared, we are just sad that the families won’t be visiting, however we now have the system ready for when the lockdown is lifted and families can continue to book video calling.

Keeping normality when the world isn’t normal

By Maria Welch 16th October, 2020 Care, covid-19, Dementia, Family Related Matters Comments Off

This year has been one of the strangest on record and it’s not over yet. It seems Coronavirus is probably here to stay and has had the biggest impact on the care industry, this coupled with the added challenge of being a dementia specialist care home has meant trying to implement enormous change whilst trying to minimise the impact on our residents.

All the research you read about dementia always states as advice “maintain a routine” this is all well and good, but when the routine is no longer practical with lockdown restrictions and protecting the most vulnerable, what do you do? Here are some of our thoughts:

Think outside the box

For those who regularly enjoy something outside of the home, which might not be available now, this could be a major disruption and may set them back in terms of their dementia and wellbeing. Could you think of recreating this activity inside the home somehow? For example, if your loved one liked to go to the local tea shop for tea and cake every Tuesday and you would rather they stayed at home, why not set a table and chairs up in their home like the tea room and bring the tea and cake to them.

If your loved one enjoyed a pamper session, bring it to them. In our home, our carers have been doubling up as beauty therapists offering a wash and blow dry, nail painting and even hosting a mini spa day in our Sweet Shop. If you can’t turn your hand to this, perhaps someone else in your family can. There are also mobile beauticians however this may feel too much of a risk.

Stay Calm

It can be really worrying when there is a threat to a loved one, you just want to protect them, shut them away and hide from the outside world. If your loved one doesn’t understand the pandemic, or the seriousness of the situation, they may feel like they are being held prisoner. You need to be able to talk to your loved one in a clear and calm manner focussing on the facts to explain why your loved one needs to self-isolate. If they are adamant they want to go out, try and encourage the safest activities – a walk in the countryside perhaps?

Exercise

Try and stay active, if you are lucky enough to have a large garden walk around the garden, maybe do a spot of gardening. Take a walk in a spacious country area, or if you want to stay indoors try an online gentle stretching class or how about laughter yoga online? This will benefit you and your loved ones releasing any stress and relaxing the mind.

Keep routine

I know not everything in the routine can stay the same, but try and maintain those things you can – waking time, mealtimes, bedtime. Routine is so important to dementia sufferers, the more routine you can keep to, the better. If things need to change, try and introduce the changes gradually where possible.

Get Creative

Perhaps now might be a good time to try something creative, painting or writing. Try to keep the mind active – puzzles and crosswords are good, as well as reading or listening to music. All of these things are known to improve wellbeing, not just for your loved one, but for you as well. Give it a try and you may end up dancing around the house!

Keep talking

If your relative is in a care home and you are not allowed to visit, find other ways to communicate. Perhaps, like us, the care home could organise video calling so you can see each other (albeit on a screen). You could write a card or letter, record a video message or speak over the phone. It is important to maintain contact and we have been more than happy to arrange this at XX.

It is a challenging and uncertain time for us all as we try to adapt and look after those most vulnerable to the virus. Don’t forget your own wellbeing and to take care of yourself too.

Caring for those with Alzheimer’s

By Maria Welch 23rd September, 2020 Care, Dementia Comments Off

This month marks World Alzheimer’s Awareness Month and as such we thought it a poignant time to reflect on all those caring for someone with Alzheimer’s.

As a dementia specialist care home, we have a number of patients suffering with Alzheimer’s and we feel it our mission to try remove the stigma. The best way to do this is talk about it.

From speaking with the loved one’s of our residents we know it can be a lonely place caring for someone. Here are some of our tips to help:

Establish a routine

A routine can be very reassuring for those with Alzheimer’s as it helps them feel secure which reduces stress and anxiety and can even help them sleep better. Having the same morning routine for example, for basic activities such as waking up at the same time, then going to the toilet, getting dressed, brushing teeth & hair and having breakfast not only gives the day a natural flow, it can make it easier to remember to do these necessary things. Also, trying to avoid significant changes to the routine where possible as it can cause confusion and stress.

Engaging Activities

This is an integral part of caring and looking after the wellbeing of someone with Alzheimer’s. Activities can include simple things that can be done around the home such as listening to music, dancing, cooking, baking, playing board games or household chores like folding laundry and matching socks (a firm favourite at Fairdeane Lodge!). For a variation trips out like a walk in a local park, visiting family & friends or a day care centre, going for a swim or going fishing can break up the day and include some exercise and fresh air wherever possible.

Hydration & Nutrition

Ensuring those with Alzheimer’s are eating nutritious food and making sure they are hydrated are extremely important. Often the most basic things can be forgotten, not just because sometimes they can’t remember when or if they have eaten or drunk anything but because many experience a decreased appetite and lack interest in food altogether. You can help by serving meals at the same time each day, selecting foods which are easy to chew and swallow, offering finger foods in bite size pieces which are easy to eat rather than having to use a knife and fork and encouraging your loved one to take vitamins. For hydration you can include foods with a high-water content like cucumber, tomatoes and fruits such as melon. Or you could even get some Jelly Drops, supported by Alzheimer’s UK, they are bite-size sugar-free sweets which are 95% water and electrolytes and a lovely way to keep those with Alzheimer’s hydrated.

Keep the mind active

A great way to keep the mind active is to engage in activates such crosswords, puzzles, board games and cards. Not only does keeping the mind active help delay the effects of Alzheimer’s these activities are fun and can be a great way to socialise with family and friends.

Memory books or boxes

We love memory books and boxes. It’s a lovely activity to do with the family too and often helps you learn things about your loved one that you would never have known. A memory box can help to remember special occasions, family members, activities they enjoy and favourite places to visit by using photographs, descriptions, letters, mementos and souvenirs. It can also help other caregivers understand more about the person, their family, likes and dislikes.

Take your time

Remember activities and tasks are likely to take longer than they used to, give yourself and your loved one plenty of time to complete them. Try not to rush around as that will likely cause stress and anxiety for both of you.

Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s can be very demanding both physically and mentally so taking care of yourself is also of utmost importance. Please do seek support and advice, you shouldn’t be in this alone. There are many support groups for carers so do find one local to you or online.

How do I know if it is time to think about a care home?

By Maria Welch 21st August, 2020 Care, Care Home, Dementia, Family Related Matters Comments Off

This post seems especially poignant as news breaks that Dame Barbara Windsor has been admitted to a care home. She looks absolutely marvellous for her age and yet she no longer recognises her husband. On the outside you wouldn’t realise anything was wrong, but for her loved ones, life has no doubt become more and more challenging, with her husband stating that her condition had worsened during lockdown. Sadly, I can imagine this might be the case for a number of Dementia suffers, the loss of routine, the inability to socialise, so many factors about lockdown does not sit well with the advice on how to reduce or slow down the effects of dementia.

I’m sure the decision to move to a care home was a difficult one for Dame Barbara’s family, however they were always very open about her condition and I’m sure as a family they had talked together about future plans. This may have made it easier for the family when the time came, as they would have known that Barbara was happy with the choice at the time.

With a diagnosis of Dementia, it might be years before the person affected actually needs a care home, however the time will come when they are no longer able to look after themselves even with the help of carers, friends and families. It would be at this point that you would need to consider moving to a care home. In our opinion though, it should be before this point that you discuss the care home and look at the different ones available in order to know which care home is best suited to your loved one.

You might be able to register your interest and the home could keep you updated on availability as the time approaches. It may feel like a sad and scary step, however from a positive perspective, your loved one will be getting the care they need which means that you will be able to focus on your social relationship with them and it can really help to reduce the stress and tension that sometimes comes with being someone’s full-time carer. I imagine that Dame Barbara Windsor will be flooded with visitors and that’s how we like it (when we can) in our homes.

If you are interested in finding out some more about our care homes and how we run, please do not hesitate in contacting us.

Preparing for the next step

By Maria Welch 29th July, 2020 Care, Care Home, Family Related Matters, Help Comments Off

Taking the decision for a loved one to move to a care home can be a scary and upsetting thought. It is often filled with guilt, you may have spent years caring for them and so it is understandable that taking a step back from that role can be very challenging. Ensure you get support from your friends, family and the care team who will be stepping in. You can still be involved in their care, and work with the new team to ensure your loved one is happy and settled in their new setting.

None of us want to admit we can’t cope any more or that we need more support. As we get older it is inevitable that we might need more care and it is important to ask for this help when you need it rather than wait until something happens and you have no choice in the matter.

By creating a plan and taking time to visit different care homes or looking at the different care options you can have control over the decision making. This will give you and your family time to prepare for the next step and also in a lot of cases care homes and care teams may have a waiting list.

Here are some tips to help you in the decision-making process if you feel a care home is the next step:

Involve the person in the decision

Although you may feel that your loved one does not have the metal capacity to make the decision in their care, it is important to try and involve them in the process. If they are no longer able to communicate you might be able to see different reactions as you tour around different homes which may help guide your decision and also make the transition easier for your loved one.

Due to COVID it might not be possible to have a tour of the care home right now, however the majority have websites, so take a look at the photos on their site, read about their ethos and how they care for their residents. Arrange a video call with the care home manager to ask all the questions you have and to get a feel of how the home is run and the activities that might appeal to your loved one.

Perhaps there is an opportunity for your loved one to join in some activities each week prior to the move so they can get to know some of the residents and become familiar with the home. This would make the transition feel less daunting for everyone involved.

Choosing the right home

This is the big one, and no doubt the most daunting decision ahead of you. There are lots of resources available on the internet to help you make that decision, but I would draw your attention to Age UK. They have a video to help: https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/arranging-care/care-homes/help-finding-care-home/

They also have a list of questions that you might want to include during the process which you can find here: https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/arranging-care/care-homes/choosing-care-home/

It also has a handy downloadable checklist. By having a checklist and a standard set of questions for each home it will give you a good basis for comparison.

Choosing a home is very much a personal thing, so try to get as much of a feel for daily life as you can, ask about routine and activities, outside space, activities available outside of the home and see if you can picture your loved one enjoying themselves there. If you do get the opportunity to have a tour of the home get a feel for the staff, are they interested in the residents, are they caring, does the home feel welcoming? It may be difficult to do this in current circumstances, however if you are planning in advance perhaps ask to be contacted once they are doing show arounds again.

Once you have chosen

At this stage the care home should arrange to come and meet your loved one or invite them to the home to meet with some of the team. As I mentioned earlier, if you have some time before the move, it might be nice to arrange a few afternoons or mornings where your loved one spends time at the home getting involved in some of their activities.

During their visits try to give the home as much information about your loved one as possible, this includes how and where they grew up, family, partner, work, interests, hobbies, achievements, music, films. On the Dementia website you could go through the process of creating your loved one’s life story. This is a lovely thing to do together, but don’t try doing it all in one sitting, break it into topics and collect photos to go with the stories. Spending time going through old photos reminiscing is something we love to do at Fairdene Lodge and having life stories helps us to start the conversation with our residents.

Moving Day

Try to reduce anxieties and pick a time in the day which you feel will work best for your loved one. If they feel reluctant you could could start with a shorter respite stay to see how they get on.

Make their room homely, put up photographs of loved ones and ornaments and sentimental pieces from home around the room. Finding the right time to leave can be hard, however the care home will be very experienced in this, so talk to them and discuss when they feel is the best time.

Let your loved one know you are leaving and when you plan to return and feel free to call the home and check how they are settling in.

Settling in

Some care homes ask friends and families not to visit in the first week so they can get your loved one settled. This can feel difficult, however you can phone and check how it is going. When you do visit, encourage your loved one to develop relationships with the other residents and get involved in activities. We are always happy to include visitors in our activities – if you have a skill or hobby you could even host your own activity session.

If you would like any advice about introducing a loved one to our care home, please do not hesitate in contacting us.

Overcoming the Stigma of Dementia

By Maria Welch 19th June, 2020 Dementia, Family Related Matters, Help Comments Off

Perhaps it’s the lack of awareness and understanding around dementia in the UK that creates the stigma or the public perception of people with dementia.

Dementia is an ever-increasing disease currently affecting 850,000 people in the UK, which is set to increase to around one million by 2025.

Currently there is no cure for dementia. It’s often misunderstood as just part of growing old when in fact it’s a disease of the brain. In our previous article we talked about why there is stigma around dementia, so how do we overcome this?

Having cared for people with dementia for over 36 years in our care homes, our team works hard with friends and families to do this. Our advice:

Be open
Try to be open about the diagnosis with friends and family. Make sure you’re clear and direct. This also applies to your care givers, don’t feel ashamed about your diagnosis, it’s not your fault. The more information they have the better they will be able to treat and care for you.

Facts
One of the key things to dispel the stigma around the disease is helping people to understand, so be factual when you talk to people. You could point them to the Dementia UK website or offer a pamphlet to help explain about the disease.

Support
Make sure you have a strong support system around you, whether that’s friends and family, a support group or network. Sharing experiences with other people in the same situation can help with feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Connection and communication
Staying connected with friends and family is vital at this time, keep up as many of your daily activities as you can. Ask for help if you need it and make sure you talk about how you’re feeling and how people can help. Often people want to help but are unsure of how to, if you communicate it will help you and them.

At Fairdean Lodge we understand more than most the difficulties having a family member with dementia can cause emotionally and socially. We’re here to support and advise you and your family at every stage. Please do get in contact if you have any questions or need support. We’re here to help.

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